Open cans. Pour all contents into a colander. Rinse. Drain.
Eat a Frito. It’s OK. Everything else here is so healthy. Oh. Yeah. That was good. You haven’t had Fritos in a while. You try not to keep junk food around the house, but … these are for making this fancy dish. How long do we let this drain? Eat another Frito. Hmmm. I thought I didn’t like Fritos. But. Yeah, eat another one. Hmmm. Do I like Fritos? I think I like Fritos. Eat four more.
Are the vegetables drained? No, wait. See — did you see? Something just dripped. It’s not ready. Let’s eat more Fritos.
OK. Chop of the peppers into very small pieces. If you’re not sure if you’ve done it right, consult a Frito Scoop. Did your pepper pieces scoop nicely into your Frito Scoop? Good. You did it right.*
Remove the cilantro leaves from the stems. Chop them up. Lots.
Combine all ingredients in a bowl.
Pour about 3/4 of the bottle of dressing into the bowl.
Chill overnight. Before serving, dice avocados, then mix into the bowl.*
*These are all the “optional” steps. I reckon if you want to get real Texan with it, you ain’t need nothing ain’t come from cans. Is that how people from Texas talk? I don’t know. I’m not a doctor. Anyhow, I’ve learned through careful experimentation (read: I eat a lot of this stuff) that the peppers are nice but not crucial, chilling overnight helps but is not critical and that the salad dressing will likely help the avocados from turning brown.